Jacqui, I’m getting a divorce and I’m scared to tell my kids!

Dear Jacqui,

My name is Jonathan and I have two kids, ages 11 and 14. I am currently living in Orlando, but will be moving to Sanford in a few months. My wife and I have decided to get divorced after a year of being separated. We are both scared to tell our kids but know that we have to tell the soon. Are they going to hate us forever? I don’t know how to do this, HELP!

Needing help,

Jonathan

Dear Jonathan,

Firstly, this is going to be hard on both you and your wife to have this discussion with you children. However, you can take a positive approach to help them through this process. I would sit down with your wife first and discuss how and what you are going to tell your children. This gives both of you the opportunity to have a plan as well as to practice exactly what you want to say. Begin by telling them in a safe environment, such as your children’s home. You also want to speak honestly without too many marital details and assure them of your continued love and commitment to care for them. Explain any changes that will be taking place and what they can expect from each parent. The impact of the divorce on children is inevitable, but taking a positive and open approach will help both your children and yourself through this. Your children’s reactions may vary, so allow them to ask questions and express their fears or concerns. If you would like any more suggestions or phrases to avoid, please feel free to contact me at jwilliams@heathrowcounselingcenter.org or by calling me at 407-956-5773.

Good Luck Jonathan!

Jacqui Williams